On Human Rights...

I am knee-deep - no, I take that back, shoulder-deep - in research for this paper that I have to finish up and I am baffled. I feel like I am trying to nail Jell-O to a tree. My thesis was supposed to center around why Clinton changed his intervention policy in his second term, focusing on Madeleine Albright, an increase in international pressure, and embarrassment from failure in Rwanda. However, this does not seem to be the case. I have found so many other reasons. A select few:

1. We're racist, so it's cool to intervene in white-people genocide, but not anything in Africa
2. Clinton looked like a moron after the whole Monica Lewinski scandal, so he needed to redeem himself by bombing a bunch of Eastern-European people
3. Tony Blair is a good guy, and wanted to intervene, and since England is everything we WANT to be, so did we
4. Madeleine Albright felt bad about failing in Rwanda, so she tried to succeed in Bosnia
5. We had now fully embraced our role as the world's police, which we weren't used to when Somalia and Rwanda happened since it was right after the end of the Cold War.
6. There were more US national interests at stake in Bosnia...not sure what, but I guess so
7. American credibility was at stake (I think we blew that one, but whatever)
8. We didn't really change our policy, we just randomly thought we'd intervene in Kosovo.

See? Not really a valid thesis. I can't believe I'm blogging about this. It's a way of procrastinating from finding the real answer.
Suggestions are welcome...

Potentially Sleeping in a Bathtub for a Semester

Let me explain: I am searching for apartments in Paris, and so far, RIEN! We are trying to find housing that accomodates 3 people, in 3 separate beds, for under 2000 euro a month, in the city of lights. Impossible, it seems. Looks like the couch/floor/tub for me. While I did sign up for the experience of studying abroad, I did not sign up for this - it is so frustrating, and the most annoying part is that the IE office has not done ANYTHING to help us.

What gets me really worked up is the fact that the kids that go to Italy get an apartment in Alba and FOOD TICKETS!! THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE TO PAY FOR THEIR OWN ALCOHOL! Are you kidding me!? And me, I'm going to be paying thousands of dollars for an apartment, food (I'll be living off of bread, cheese, and wine for a semester), electricity, internet, etc. along with books, living expenses, insurance, train fare, gym membership, etc. Fuck this.

Pardon my French.

Productivity...

Surprise, surprise....today was actually productive. Went to the Stonehill College library and put like 100 books on hold to start that research paper I've been putting off. The funny thing is that it wasn't actually that productive of a day, it just feels like it because I did that one minor thing. It's a start though - they say that the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.

I also went to the mall and got new makeup. Whew, exciting. Actually, it was worth writing about. So I go to the Nars counter, which is my favorite makeup line ever ever ever, to get my favorite foundation (Nars Sheer Glow Foundation, amazing!!), and there was no one there to help me, except the lady from Dior. I hate this lady from Dior. You have to understand that girls are very specific about their makeup - especially those of us for whom it takes 20 tries to find one that doesn't cause us to break out instantaneously. So when this lady dared to question my choice of foundation, and suggest some weird spray makeup, I was very angry. I just wanted my Nars. And then instead of trying to help me find the right shade (I'm a little darker now because it's SUMMMERRR!!!), she just kinda let me do it myself. I do not like this. What happened to service?

Okay, enough complaining about the makeup counter lady. On another note, I have made a goal for the summer: NO BOYFRIENDS. I should say "boyfriend" singular, since that seems to be the pattern - I find a boyfriend for the summer, things last a couple of months into the new year, and then it ends. Well. Enough of that. I am going the City of Lights in the fall and I want to be 100% certified SINGLE. Enough of this complicated relationship shit, I can't deal with it...a summer hook-up is one thing, but no boyfriends. No commitment. Eew.

Tomorrow I'm headed to Narragansett to hang out with Allie for the day, on the beach. I am so glad I found a fellow Smary's girl who lives nearby, who is cool, and who shares my love for boys and alcohol, and the sometimes the combination of the two. My mom is trying to convince me to bring a cooler of goodies for the two of us. The plan is to sneak in some wine. What can be better than wine on the beach? Nothing, I tell you, nothing!!

Down by the Bay

Summer has officially begun. Last night I drove over an hour to Rhode Island to meet up with Allie, who finished work at 9 and, like me, was desperate to get out of the house. I did not care that I had to drive an hour, through Providence, at 9 o'clock at night. The drive itself was worth it: me, some sweet music, and the humming of the car as I pushed 80 on the highway. I needed so badly to get out, and just go. We found each other at the Mobil station in Narragansett, after I drove around a rotary for about 10 minutes straight - this felt very sketchy, but nonetheless I was ecstatic to see someone from school, especially Allie, with whom I spent 6 hours drinking on a hammock a couple of weeks ago. We went to BK for a very late dinner (my stomach always does twists and turns when I eat any fast food, but it was so necessary), and then found Stefano. This was not quite as easy as it sounds...my driving skills are sub-par, to put it one way, and Jessica, my GPS, likes to mess with my head. It was interesting. We finally ended up, somehow, on a beach with Stefano and a couple of his friends, just talking and hanging out. This was all I needed - laughter, good stories, a cool and crisp night near the water. It was lovely :)

I left pretty early, since Allie had to go to work anyway, and stopped for coffee on the way home. I love this freedom. I love being able to do what I want, and not thinking about school or classes or sailing. I enjoyed the drive home almost as much as the drive there - I had stolen my sister's iPod, since mine was on its deathbed when I left last night, and since she has amazing taste in music, it was a blissful ride with the perfect soundtrack. The drive there was better though - it was dark, and pretty late, and something about it felt dangerous. Not that there is anything dangerous about Rhode Island in May, but I guess the spontaneity of driving an hour just to meet up with a friend from school, going through a city at night, etc. Yes it seems naive, but so far since I've been home I've done nothing but watch movies and procrastinate, so this was a walk on the wild side for me. Tuesday we are planning on going to the beach, since it's going to be pretty hot and sunny. I cannot waiiitttt!!!!

In the meantime, I've got paperwork to do and papers to write, and doctors to see and unpacking to do...but maybe I'll just put that off too...

Bored in Massachusetts

Ohmigod. I cannot wait for camp to start. There is nothing exciting about suburbian Mass in the summer. Nothing. Today, I ran errands with my dad. This consisted of going to the Post Office, a Middle Eastern/Greek store, and the Farmer's Market. Oh my god. I came home and zoned out by watching the last 20 minutes of Charlie's Angels and then "Nine" (which was actually pretty awesome), and am now waiting to head to Rhode Island to visit a friend or two. Only after driving my lovely sister to a sweet sixteen....yum.

Home Sweet Home

I am finally home. Let me just make a quick list of what this means:

1. water pressure

2. cleanliness

3. unpacking

4. a little more lonely than at school

5. dishes - sinks - food - OH MY!

6. pets

You get the idea. It's a little weird, I am not going to lie. Taking a clean shower, with water pressure (at 3 pm this afternoon) was a little crazy. I feel like I have so much to do now that I am home, with my family, but I am not quite ready to get the ball rolling on all of it. I think I'll give myself a couple of days to relax before I get things going again. I have to unpack anyway.

It is definitely good to be hanging out with my sister again. She is HILARIOUS and has been keeping me cheery since I've been home. Still, I cannot wait for my summer at TASP to begin, and even better - PARIS! Be on the lookout for this blog to change to a more aptly titled documentation of my time in the City of Lights. Until then...

Team Spirit and Stolen Property

Living together as a team for a week is certainly an experience. So far we've been having a pretty good time, hanging out, eating a LOT of pizza, and of course, sailing. Today's practice was amazing - sailed with Mimi (best boat ever...and the hottest, obviously) and we had so much fun. The wind was solid, the waves were rolling, and I was able to get over my nerves and just enjoy the wind and waves. The best was planing - the 420's surf the waves really smoothly and we could just fly downwind. It was a little cold, and raining pretty hard, but it made it feel all that much more badass - and we were working so hard I was actually sweating, so I didn't mind the cold.

The only problem with practice week is the living situation. Cramped together for a week straight, tensions running high, not on a normal eating/sleeping/workout schedule - it gets overwhelming. Especially with everything going on in my life right now, it is trying for sure. But Mimi and I are enjoying living together and making a mess of our tiny room, so it's ok :)

Speaking of...this weekend as I was moving into our assigned housing on the Greens, almost half of my belongings were stolen. I left them on the back patio because I couldn't move in yet and I needed to go get another car load of stuff, and when I came back my stuff had been rummaged through. My clothes were all there, but my laundry basket, detergent and two huge containers of pots, pans, dishes, etc. were all gone. Along with these minor items, my two favorite pairs of heels were gone (super expensive, nice heels that are a staple to my wardrobe) as well as my entire movie collection (except for Forgetting Sarah Marshall which is in my backpack for some reason). The most tragic of all, however, is that all of my jewelry was taken. This wasn't cheap, or even new, but was antique and much of it had belonged to my dad's mother, who died when I was a baby. It also included earrings given to me by my grandmother, as well as a jewelry box that was given to me by my mom which had been given to her by her grandmother, who practically raised her. It was an antique from the 20's or 30's and was one of the only things in my room of sentimental value. The other, my mother's jade elephant pendant and chain from India, I had luckily thrown into my boat bag that day so I could wear it tomorrow, and was saved. This leaves me with my one pair of pearl studs given to me by my mom, my Cape Cod bracelet and Caribbean hook bracelet, and my jade elephant. That's everything. I feel like I've lost a piece of me :(

In all this, however, there was something good. I randomly ended up hanging out with a girl who I knew a little bit, but not very well, and she helped me move to the Greens on Saturday. She was there as I fell to pieces over my stolen property, and when I had moved my stuff in and broke down crying on the bed, she emerged with a Tiffany bean necklace that she had brought for me - she said she never wore it and thought I deserved to have at least one necklace to wear (I hadn't found the saved elephant at this point). It was one of the most beautiful moments I have seen - truly genuine in kindness, she realized what it meant to have so many precious items taken, probably to be pawned off somewhere. I don't think I will ever forget what a nice thing it was for her to do - I haven't taken the necklace off since: it reminds me that in all the dark chaos in the world, there are still people who see the good and look out for others before themselves.

It has been a very crazy few days, and it is about to get crazier. But I know that my friends will be there, and some light will shine through :)